Goodbye, Sex Idiot. I hardly knew ye.
I mean, I knew enough. You had a nice dick and proficient tongue skills, and you were there.
But god, were you dumb.
You were so dumb, you told me I had to make you my boyfriend because you were having to choose between me and a woman who was promising you the world, and even though you don’t like her and aren’t attracted to her, “we all have to make sacrifices sometimes.”
You were so dumb, you told me we needed to move in together, because 25 minutes is too long to drive for sex, and you need it every day, even though you waited all week without masturbating to see me.
You were so dumb, you told me I’d be 35 soon, and at 35 all women want babies, and you just don’t want to have another kid.
And so I say to those who will come (heh heh) after you...
STEP RIGHT UP!
P.S. Kendo is still a thing, we just don’t get to see each other very frequently. I’m trying to bring him out of his shell and talk dirtier via text. He did good, jumped right into threesome talk. I’ve created a monster. A beautiful, talented, Japanese monster.